(Some)How I Managed

I took the photo above in Thomas, West Virginia in May 2024.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to explore the 💼 Engineering Manager role on the GitLab Support team. While I have ultimately decided to remain on the 🪄 Staff path, I am very grateful for the experience. In this post, I want to record a few of the things I found helpful to keep in mind as I approached the role. I have a few reasons for doing this:

• the reflection required to write this post is valuable to me in and of itself.
• I always appreciate reading this kind of post as time passes. It’s a fantastic way to note what I considered important in the past and it’s a great way to measure my growth over time. (What things will hold true over the years? Where will my thinking evolve over time?)
• I find myself chatting with colleagues and friends about different aspects of management. This post may serve as a useful follow-up to those conversations.

🎒 Lessons Learned and Refined

• 👂 Ask for feedback.
  • In some situations, you may need to focus on asking frequently and consistently. This will help to build trust and is especially important for folks who are not yet sure that they can give you feedback.
  • I like to phrase it as “Is there anything that I should START, STOP or CONTINUE?“.
    • That phrasing is borrowed from how retrospectives are conducted in agile development. You can also learn more by reading about the SKS (stop, keep, start). If you know me, you probably know that I’m partial to a lot of the writing from Harvard Business Review (HBR); see Three Questions for Effective Feedback.
• 📋 Do something with the feedback.
  • If someone cares enough and is trusting enough to give you feedback, do something with it. You shouldn’t change based on every bit of feedback. Consider the source and their perspective as you assess what to do.
  • Make sure you understand the feedback. Sometimes it makes sense to inquire and try to understand why someone offers a particular bit of feedback.
• Δ Change happens.
  • Undesired change happens: work on accepting and embracing that fact of the universe.
• 🎬 Do the thing.
  • Don’t be hasty but if you look around and think ”😬 eek, someone should do something”, take ownership. As a wise woman once shared with me “you don’t have to do it yourself but you do have to make sure it gets done”.
• 🔮 Communicate clearly.
  • Know that you may fail anyway. Plan for how you’ll follow-up on the initial communication.
  • Everyone should hear the same message. Over time, learn how to 👔 tailor the message to the recipient.
• 📢 Your voice carries weight. People respond in a range of ways to requests that come from A Manager. Delegate but do so with the weight of your voice in mind. When asking for “a quick favor”:
  • Give a bit of context. That empowers the requester to properly prioritize your request and ask relevant follow-up questions.
  • Be clear about what you are asking for and when you expect it.
• 👍 Getting things done requires you to let your best be enough: don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
• 💡 Set people (and their ideas) up to succeed…while understanding that failure is natural, normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
  • Ask questions and make suggestions to help strengthen the ideas and proposals of your team. People often talk about brutal honesty. I submit that honesty can be kind and helpful without being brutal.
• 🍱 Aim for as much structure as is necessary. No more, no less.
  • It can be tempting to be overly organized or overly prescriptive. Ambiguity can be uncomfortable and the human brain often seeks to reduce ambiguity. However, at times, it’s important to view ambiguity as flexibility.

🤭 A Bit of Fun

The title of this blog post is inspired by The Office. On the US version of The Office (my comfort show), Michael Gary Scott talks about writing a book about management called Somehow I Manage. I knew I wanted to make a play on his book title in some way as soon as I knew I’d be exploring the management path again. (Watch the season 6 episode Happy Hour where he describes the book for more information.)

💖 From the Heart

While some of the elements in this set are unique to management, I think that this list is generally applicable to any leadership position. I think that many of these ideas are useful to those of us who are leaders on teams, whether or not one is actively managing others. I am sure the lessons I learned and refined will be helpful as I pursue leadership beyond the management track as I move forward.

🌽 I’d love to hear your thoughts: let me know.